When I told the officer that the whole scene was a déjà vu out of a dream-, he looked at me like I was crazy. Then he started in again with questions. He became very agitated with me when I informed him I had a friend and lawyer on the way from Phoenix. That was nothing compared to his anger when I refused a uds. I told him I had passed the field tests and since there was no DRE (drug recognition expert) available, I felt he was harassing me. I was done playing. I told him over and over, I was not drunk or high and that I was suffering anxiety and why I was having an attack. But this guy had a hard-on for the DUI. BTW-Hi officer! When he was inventorying my purse contents, he saw my cards and asked if the were my biz cards and then he smirked when I replied yes. I then said, why don’t you look me up on the net and see who you are arresting. He rolled his eyes and gave me the –you are crazy look. Am I so crazy now officer? I also told you I’d be out within hours - huh. Anyways, I was strip searched and put in a special observation cell. I had told them I was kinda famous and I knew some important folks that would not have me stay the night in their facility. The staff thought I was delusional. If there is one thing I have learned- it is never try to argue or fight with the police or guards- you will never win even if you are 100 % in the right. Now, all I wanted was to call MM. I wanted to hear his voice more then anything I had ever wanted. I longed for him and cried out his name. An officer tried to call him 2 times for me. He used the opportunity to preach God to me, and I did agree with what he said. Then I was transferred to my new cell with a new roommate. She used a garden hoe to beat a man to a pulp. She seemed to like me and she even stated I looked familiar to her and she thought she knew me. (I have a strong Internet presence and sometimes when people see me –they are just remembering seeing me off the net in their subconscious minds and just can’t seem to place me.) All of the gals in E pod were basically man haters and were attempting to convince me that MM was denying and blocking my many collect calls to him. I felt abandoned and so alone. It is a horrid way to feel. When the gals returned to the pod from AA, I decided to try just one last time and OMG- MM picked up. I was so happy and relief came over me. He said he was on his way and had the three grand cash to bond me out! I had some hope for the first time since they brought me in on bogus charges. Then it hit me- he was putting it all on the line for me. His wife, job, sanity, finances, everything. FOR ME! SOMEBODY ACTUALLY REALLY CARED! What a feeling! OMG! I went from one extreme to the other. From total alone to having a special someone that had my back when the shit was deep. He was not even mad about the car! Now, earlier in the day, Big Mike made the trip up and attempted a bond out but 3 g’s is a lot and he ended up going back with out me. But the fact he came and came fast was cool. He even helped chip in 500 of the bond money-THANKS MIKE. Between the two of them-, my faith in all men has been restored. I also trust my MM 100 %. This is a huge deal like you just don’t know. I ended up falling asleep on the top bunk for what I thought was a several hours but only two. Them a guard came to the cell door and told me to “get your ass up, somebody just paid a lot of money to get you out of here. Move it!” I did not argue and rolled up. One thing that still bugs me is they made me trash a workbook type thing that I had been writing notes to MM in all day. I feel like they stole my thoughts and feelings. Damn. Then they returned property and I changed out. They sent me packing- “have fun as they threw me out into the dark Arizona desert. MM was still in the front lobby. I called him on the cell. He came out into the parking lot with a red rose in hand. Do u fucking believe it. He is sooo sweet. (That red rose is on my desk and it is very symbolistic to me so it will remain where it is 4ever!) I was so happy and we hugged. He had brought Cherry coke, candy, and all of my favs. Usually I crave soda and ciggy’s when I get out- this time I craved MM. We drove my p.o.s. car back to my incall and we talked about some serious stuff till 5a.m.. Thank god I have him in my life.

Now my arraignment is soon and I need a lawyer, as the charge is at least a 10-day sentence. I do think I can beat it as I was not impaired and they fucked up on a lot of shit. But until then- I guess I got a few things out of this ordeal, I can share with you.

1. I did not realize I was OK with dying-no fear when it came down to it.

2. MM really loves me.

3. I have an appreciation for some things I was bitching about like, the San Diego trip.

4. I have a special someone that cares and is willing to put himself in harms way-take that bullet for me without any hesitation. What an incredible feeling!!!

5. In addition, I really have to make some changes and make some better choices b4 I die too soon........