My Dream came true. See blog entry of August 04.

Yesterday morning I was to meet with a client ½ way between Phoenix and Flag. I had a flat and I barrowed MM’s car.
I was very tired. I had not got much sleep the previous night. (The usual Anxiety and Insomnia.) Just outside of Phoenix, I nodded off. The car started to veer off the highway into the median. The noise woke me and I was able to get the vehicle back on the road. But, I guess I over-corrected. Lucky for me – no others cars were near. I skidded across 3 lanes and went down the embankment on the other side of the highway. The car was spinning out of control as objects were flying around the backseat area. It was like time was in slow motion I thought I was going to die as gravity was pushing and pulling my body. As the Toyota continued to spin in circles taking out bushes and trees. I hit a rather large tree and as I held on tight to the steering wheel- I said “this is it.” I was actually ok with dying. I just wanted it to be fast and I was bummed that it was going to be in the drivers seat of MM’s car. Then the car stopped and it was like time was normal again. I smelled smoke and I knew I needed to get out of the car. Only 1 passer by –an off duty firefighter-stopped. He called for help. I was freaking out and had a big time anxiety attack. But I was ok. The Toyota did not fair so well. My 1^st instinct was to run off as I did not want to deal and my anxiety was taking me over. One of the things I learned in counseling was to remove myself from the anxiety producing situation. I started making calls and my client I was to rendezvous with told me –leaving the scene of an accident was not a good idea. Even though I was tripping out I listened and my next call was to MM. I told him to sit down. He was in a state of shock. He said he had a meeting and had to go. I was hurt cuz he did not even ask if I was ok. Did he not realize the seriousness of the words I was telling him? Anxiety levels jump and the Highway Patrol officer was standing on the road above me. He asked me questions and quickly came to the conclusion I was impaired. I tried to tell him this was not the case and I was having a full blown anxiety attack. I was arrested and placed in the back of a patrol car. It was at least 110 out and I was sweltering. I passed the field sobriety tests but he was concerned cuz my eyes were fluttering. (My sheer panic, tears, mascara, the flying nats, hot sun and dust in the wind would make it impossible to not squint and omg yes –my eyes were fluttering. So, I was taken to jail, arrested and locked behind bars. Now the interesting thing is, I was surrounded by concrete and he was quick to announce that I was DUI. All the men in the jail looked at me in disgust. Then the fire alarms went off. They were working on the entire fire system in the jail. The alarms were so loud I had to cover my ears. Doors slammed shut and I felt like a trapped rat. Does this sound familiar? Weird huh. I have to end here but tomorrow I will finish this story- it truly has an unbelievable ending In the meantime –what do u think about my little dream….