Since "the incident" last Friday, I have been basically freaking out and having a lot of mixed feelings and I am kinda emotional. Now, I am no shrink but, all of this is probably normal for a traumatic event.
As shitty as Friday August 17th was - I would do it all over again to get to the end result. What is that you ask? Well, let me tell you all about it....
The entire chain of events that fucked up Friday, has led to a new trust in a higher power. Several years ago I was a very spiritual person. I enjoyed daily prayer and meditation and fellowship with my higher power-my vision of what some call God. I was still a little ball o stress, but I was much more at peace. In the last few days I have been able to get a little of that back.
I also have been able to let go and trust in my MM 100%. No holding feelings back out of fear of the possibilities of the potential pain that a serious relationship with a man can bring about. Since I have let go of pain from the past that I have endured from other men and letting my MM in my heart with no walls keeping him out, I have felt a closeness to him that I thought was not ever going to be possible with anybody. I can't explain it, but this a.m. when we made love- it was so incredible. It was that cool feeling when two become as one. So together and so in synch. It's a special connection that can only be felt with that special someone. I want to take this time to thank the 2 special someones in my life and dedicate this entire blog and all entries on it to them.
So without further ado, Thank you to my higher power and to my MM for everything. God is good, life is good and I love, love...
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