Letters from Me...

A very close buddy of mine suggested I write a letter as a therapeutic intervention. So, I am blogging it cuz it is me who needs some good ol' fashioned letting go and letting God! Now I am supposed to be writing to my kid but, I am taking it just a step further cuz I just gotta get some shit off of my chest...
Letter #1-
Hey Boo, I really really miss you. This is the longest we have ever been apart. Don't you miss me and the Gramster? What about home and the kitty's and C and C? My b-day is coming up and it's almost time to put up the Halloween decos. Me and Will were going thru all that shit last week. He was tripping on all the stuff we have. Will said "You guys got enough for your own haunted house- yaaa yaa ya man!" Then he goes " you must have been such a cool Mom- so fun and cool - like the Mom everybody always wanted - yaaa yaa ya man!" But as I continue to sort and trash and pack I can not help but notice- you took nothing that I gave you for the last few years. NOTHING- all the trinket and gifts are left behind. It is as if you want no memory of us? It is so hard- the place is really fucked up but that is not your fault- it's mine. I am sorry, but then on the other hand - you really did not have it that bad and you need to stop acting like a little bitch to me. I have feelings to ya know. I disliked and disrespected Gramster for a spell when I was around 15, but I was not near as spiteful as you. It is like a knife in the heart - a pain like no other. Don't you see you are setting the pace for our future? Fucking stop it and grow the fuck up. Cum on, stop being pissed at the world and stop torturing me! Don't you know I love you so much and I miss the fuck out of you little girl! My little Boo Girl...You will always be my little Boo Girl....

Letter # 2 -
Richard, why don't you just let me go. Again I feel tortured. I see you regressing and you really scared me the other day. Plus, I am so very angry with you as you have done it again... Just when I need you the most, you have failed me. I am tired of suffering. Suffering is bad enough but to suffer alone is torment. Fuck you! You are abusive and I can and I am doing so much better. Too bad he can't be here with me thru this long lonely night, so I continue to write...

Letter # 3 -
Will- sorry I got mad at you tonight. I guess I was a little disappointed when I walked in and sometimes I wonder about how much sense you got left. ( I know we fried a lot of cells over the years but fuck man!) I would love to know what goes thru your mind sometimes-cuz you blow mine! I don't want to sever our relationship bud, but man - you are driving me fucking nuts! Get it together and start being a friend, It's like any relationship - give and take. I feel like I am the one doing all the giving. I need some take sometimes too - don't you guys see that? Do you guys even give a fuck? ? ?

Letter # 4-
A positive letter for the positive one in my life, (you know who you are.)
Wheeew, I hope all this blogging does some good. You know how passive - aggressive I am. I mean I should really be talking to these guys face to face, but for some reason, I turn the other cheek and my blood begins to boil. Then you gotta hear about it- deal with it and clean up the mess on top of it! I thank my lucky Arizona September Night Stars above for you being in my life. Would you like to step out on the patio and have a beer with me?