Guest Blogger of the Week

Fi Fi the cat...
Meow, I am FiFI and I am such the Miss Pris. But, I do snore real loud! (Don't tell)
I am lucky to live at a real incall! I have seen it all. The other day, my Mistress Brittney was on the phone. I overheard her conversation with a client. He wanted to F*** Dolly. (Dolly is a big plastic human or a doll as the humans call her). Mistress had a strange but funny look on her face. As Miss Britt was checking her machine she sits in front of, I heard her comment to one of the Masters that a guy had contacted her friend and wanted them to do a burdizzo on him. Miss Britt and her alpha slave had really funny looks on their faces! After some discussion they decided he was a nut-no pun intended . I am learning much about human sexuality. Us Kat Klan members are in it for the baby kitty kats and that is about it. (procreation I think it is called). Anyways, I love to sleep under My Mistress Britts costume rack. She has 121 of them hanging on that thing. Sometimes me and my brother play with them and she gets really really mad at us. Another favorite activity is tearing up the paper on the medical exam table. I also am into digging at the rugs and when mistress attempts to make the bed-I am there to tear that up too! Meow! Well, in closing I'd like to meow- It is never a dull moment and I am blessed to live at this fun and exciting and meow-weird place. I would not trade it for the world!!!

Murpheys Law??? or Just plain ole Bad Luck???

HMMM, Today is quickly shaping up to be one of the worst days of my life. BTW- it's tradition to write my blog in my favorite color (pink) unless I am feeling depressed or angry. Today I am both. Why you ask? Well,
1. My lover is "frustrated" with me. He never gets "mad". We ended up having a "debate" this am. I have an anger management issue and lets just say things got ugly.
2. I have been sick for the last month. I can't seem to completely kick the "stomach virus" the er diagnosed me with 3 weeks ago. What fun!
3. I actually did some number crunching and my "friends" are costing me upwards of a grand a month. So, I have begun the cycle of cutting them off. One friend was told to "back off" by MM. He has done nothing but text and call me. I am insulted at this total disrespect for MM and myself. When MM speaks - that is the way it is whether I agree or not. (I fully agree in this case.)
4. Richard has once again "manipulated" me. He currently has my car and will not respond to my queries about when the vehicle will be returned. NIce huh?
5.Yahoo has just deleted my 360 page which had my popular blog on it. (One of the reasons I am also doing this blog) Those fucks have no clue what the 5th amendment means. I guess the Yahoo tos outranks the american constitution!
Of course I dont have much of it backed up. When will I learn? They do this shit about every 4-6 months. Wonder if Blogger plays the same "game"????

Well, one good thing did come of the deletion of my 360 blog - MM called me and we made up. Thanks Yahoo - fuck my thoughts, feelings and hard work off into cyberspace with the simple click of a button cuz today you assholes brought me and my MM back together and losing the blog is a small price to pay!!!!!!!

How I feel right now...

STAIND LYRICS

"It's Been A While"

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

"Bad Company till the Day I Die" Oh Yeah la la la

My "friends", and I use that term loosely, have really been mooching a lot more then usual. Now I know times are tough, but how come everybody cums to me to support ciggy habits, money, borrowing pornos that I never get back, and other assorted moochable things. The kicker is when times are tough for me- nobody is around. I had to tell someone yesterday that I had only 1 ciggy left and since I am a pretty hardcore nic addict - I was not sharing. He looked at me in total disbelief. I felt terrible about not even letting him have a puff but fuck, it's never ending. I am also sick of these "friends" coming by and messing up the place and guess who gets to clean it up? The thing that freaks me out the most is my guy "friends" will walk in my bedroom-pop in a porno and kick it on my bed without even asking "Brittney, is it OK if I participate in this totally inappropriate behavior?" OMG- I would never go to someones house and just walk in and start watching a porn! I guess cuz I am a working girl, that makes it OK to act out sexually in my place? This has happened on more then 1 occasion and more then 1 "friend " has done this. Blows me away. Well I always tell people I know every freak and broke ass mother fucker in Phoenix. Let me give you an example. My "friend" A was over and I told him to leave. He passed out cold in my bed with a porno going. I thought he was making that last potty break before hitting the road. NOPE! So I ran the vacuum, dishwasher, and washer. He finally woke up and asked what time it was. (it was almost 6am) I had told him the nite before that I has a 6am appt. So that shows a blatant disregard for me and my client. I actually got in the shower for at least a 1/2 hour. I told him my bad-ass mean-ass ex was on his way by and I thought he would get the hint. I got out of the shower with a towel wrapped around me. Thinking he was long gone I walked out into the office for a ciggy. There was A. - all smiles and staring at me in my little red towel. I was so pissed. Si just like always I had to have a major freak-out and be a Bitch to get him the fuck out. Then I am the bad- guy- me!!! So the abuse has once again gotten so bad that I have hung a closed sign up and will not be having any "friends" over for some time. Too bad as I get lonely but no company is better then Bad company!

What you see is what you get....

On the 360 Blog today, I talked about what it is REALLY like to be a service provider. On this Blog I am gonna tell ya what it is REALLY like to be me..

I sit here broke and dope sick. I made over 500 bucks yesterday but I am behind in bills. Once I get it-it's gone bye. Just that easy. The hard part is trying to figure out who to give it to as I seem to be in debt to all. It has taken me all day to get up and get made up into Brittney. The incall is still a mess. I have little to no energy as I am not feeling well. I need to get high. But my guy has been fucking me around. He went out of town anyways. I think I will go see a close friend on the North side a little later. If I can make the long drive - they will take care of me. I am so hungry. I have a potential client in 2 hours. That is money but money already spent. I am depressed. I usually chat with my lover IM or text. But we have not been on the same page lately. I am sure to fuck that up as I tend to sabatoge all my relationships. Now are you totally depressed after reading this? I don't want to bring you down but this is where I am and the intent of this blog is to be real. Once you get to know me, you will see that I am as real as a girl can get. Some times that is good - sometimes not. You can be the judge of that.

Empty Nest

On my 360 blog I kinda made a joke out of all of this, but the truth be known – it’s no laughing matter…

My daughter is leaving the nest to go live with her father. I feel like I have truly failed as a parent. I am feeling so much guilt and pain. I spent the last few hours going over what I could have, would have and should have done different. The main thing being my occupation. I feel like maybe if I had done something else, she would not be going at this time.

At first I thought since I made so much more money and her standard of living greatly increased, it was all ok. But the last year I have been struggling financially and emotionally. A lot of stressors have me beat down when just 1 year ago, I was on top of the world. My self-esteem has taken some serious blows. One after another after another. Now this. I never even saw it coming and I am not sure what to do but let her know I love her so much.

The other problem this poses is the clean up and major redeco and sale of the house. I have MM and he is helping, which I praise God for. It’s just the fear of the unknown. What will happen next, where will I be moving? I have some ideas, but I guess only time will tell what my future holds

Shhh. It's a secret

Ok, I have been reading up on blogs and I see that many people do several blogs at a time. So, I have decided to not only continue my popular blog on Yahoo 360 but do one here as well. But, this blog will be my little secret. I have to censor myself on 360 to a certain extent due to the staff monitoring my blog and my people that read it. So this blog will be totally me. UNCENSORED! My true thoughts and feelings. I will not advertise it. So if you stumble upon it, shhhhh, it's a secret!